Teach Me O God

I learned a valuable lesson recently regarding the blessings of God. Many times in the past I have experienced great inner joy by being obedient to God’s will. Recently, however, I experienced something completely different based on my not being obedient to God.

Every year our congregation hosts what is known as Mission Sunday. There are months of build up for this very special Sunday dedicated to highlighting the ministries being supported by the congregation and the many individuals dedicating their life to the mission field. The focus is on the great work these selfless brothers and sisters perform in the service to Jesus. Equally important is the special contribution made that day which will continue to fund these missions for the upcoming year.

Prior to the day of Mission Sunday, the Shepherds usually set a goal for the contribution and communicate that goal to the brethren. The year before last the goal was set and as it turned out, we fell quite a bit short of hitting it. Because of that, our ability to fund some missions suffered. Although our falling short of the goal was disappointing, I personally felt the inner joy that comes from being obedient to God.

This year, as the day for Mission Sunday was far off the Shepherds set a goal that was lower than the one we set the year before. Perhaps it was just too much for a congregation that contributes regularly to many other needs? I decided in my heart an amount to give. As the date came nearer both myself and my wife were involved in very busy periods regarding our jobs as well as personal commitments. Travel was frequent during this time and sure enough our personal schedule had us out of town and unable to attend church on Mission Sunday. Still, I kept thinking to myself that I need to drop off my check before that Sunday. I kept thinking it, but never did it. Then I thought that I would call or email in a pledge. I never did that either. While I was away that weekend I kept thinking about how I failed to get my contribution in before I left and about how my lack of placing importance on Mission Sunday could possibly contribute to yet another year of falling short of the goal. I thought, for sure when we get back I will bring my check to the Shepherds. I didn’t.

The Sunday after, when we had returned and I had not yet made any contribution or even communicated a pledge to contribute, came a lesson from on high. I’ll never forget it. Our congregational goal for this year’s mission Sunday was $75,000. As the associate Minister went before the congregation to report what God had done through us, I felt disappointed in my lack of caring and expected to hear how we came so close to the goal, but just didn’t make it. Was I shocked when I heard that not only had the congregation exceeded the goal, but the goal was exceeded by an amount that could only be accounted for by saying “…but with God, all things are possible”. Over $115,000 was given that Sunday.

The lesson I learned WASN’T that the success of exceeding the goal was up to me. That was a lesson showing me how self centered I am, but not the real lesson.

Here is the lesson. Because of my lack of placing a priority on what I knew was something God wanted me to do I DID NOT AND COULD NOT SHARE IN THE JOY OF GOD’S VICTORY! I WAS NOT A PART OF THAT JOY. I WAS ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN!! This was far worse than any feelings of guilt or disappointment. I missed out on the joy that comes from being obedient to God. I’ve felt that joy before and now I was experiencing the polar opposite of that feeling. The joy I am speaking of is unlike any feeling you’ve ever had. It’s a joy that is felt in your inner most being and its absence was excruciating.

There are often appeals for contributions for many worthy needs and for some the Spirit tells me to give and for some He does not. This past Mission Sunday the Spirit clearly put on my heart that I should give. I didn’t do it and the feeling of not being able to share in the joy of the Lord is one I will never forget and one I never want to feel again.